I've been pretty bummed about the whole poker thing of late. Clearly we all are given the lack of posts. There is a sudden dearth of poker here as if a single bust sucked an entire scene into non-existence.

Obvously, people still play, but the stakes have changed. They are at once higher and lower.

Anyway, I'm working on a better post, but in the meantime here's another favorite tune..

If I had a gun for every ace I have drawn,
I could arm a town the size of abilene
Dont you push me baby,
Cause Im all alone and you know Im only in it for the gold

All that I am asking for is ten gold dollars
And I could pay you back with one good hand
You can look around about the wide world over
And youll never find another honest man.

Last fair deal in the country,
Sweet suzie, last fair deal in the town
Put your gold money where your love is baby,
Before you let my deal go down

Dont you push me baby, cause Im all alone
Well I know a little something you wont ever know
Dont you touch hard liquor, just a cup of cold coffee
Im gonna get up in the morning and go

Everybody prayin and drinkin that wine
I can tell the queen of diamonds by the way she shines
Come to daddy on the inside straight,
Well I got no chance of losin this time

Last fair deal in the country,
Last fair deal in the town
Put your gold money where your love is baby,
Before you let my deal go down

Everybody prayin and drinkin that wine
I can tell the queen of diamonds by the way she shines
Come to daddy on the inside straight,
Well I got no chance of losin this time.

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THE OFFICIAL REPORT

A police report is a public document. I'm surprise more people don't take advantage of that fact. Here is an abridged summary :

Undercover police got an ANONYMOUS TIP that there were poker games inside this location on Tuedays and Saturdays. 5 deupities with the Greenville County Sheriff's office then staked the game out.

They observed about 20 cars in the parking lot of a fireworks warehouse after hours.

They moved 2 unmarked cruisers into the parking lot where the game was played and waited until another player tried to get in by using the buzzer on the front door. 2 of the deputies then walked up next to the man being buzzed in and acted as if they were with him. A "White Female" opened the door and let all 3 men in.

The deputies could see from the door that there was a poker game inside thus giving them probable cause to continue in where they saw two tables of Texas Hold-em.

The other deputies came in and stopped the game. The confiscated about $4,000, 33 packs of COPAG cards, a case of chips, and a laptop computer. Everyone there agreed to forfeit ALL OF THE CASH ON THEM and sign a waiver giving up those funds in exchange for a light fine and release.

In addition to the game's operator, it looks like 13 people were charged.

MORE

Evidently the deputies there that night spoke in a way that indicated that they had full knowledge of the location of at least 2 other active G-Vegas Underground games. In other words, they knew the address. Please remember there has never been a specific reference to any game's location or any player's real name on this blog or on Blood's.

Further, there is some reason to believe that these same officers intend to shut down those games.

It is NOT clear at this point whether or not those operators plan to take heed of this OBVIOUS warning.

FINALLY

Blood makes the very reasonable assumption that the recent robbery at the Black Stallion game and this bust (with potential to be bustS plural) are related. His theory is that the law knew these games went on but tolerated them UNTIL the threat of deadly violence emerged.

I wonder how, or IF, that relates to the "ANONYMOUS TIP" that police say led them to the game this week.

I would note that games like this have always been especially vulnerable to anyone who has lost badly and want to act in spite or just simply be a dick. Hell, it could have been the wife of a too-frequent player.

I wonder.

I will say this. I won't be at any underground game anytime soon. As Otis said yesterday, its a matter of EV.

As the odds of having every dollar on your person seized (with an ADDITIONAL fine) increase the EV of playing in a particular location declines SHARPLY.

Update from Otis: For posterity...

Without using the names here, here's a look at the age ranges of the people who were ticketed in this case:

Male-35
Male-35
Male-26
Male-64
Female-71
Male-60
Male-56
Male-24
Male-24
Male-27
Male-30
Male-59
Male-70
Male-26

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From what we hear, the room had been in operation for some time, maybe as long as three years. The tournament in question was a $500 tourney with rebuys for the first level (2 hrs) plus an add on. The tournament usually pulled 75-100 players and paid the final table. The room operators ran satellites prior to the event and first prize was routinely $30,000-$40,000.

Apparently this tournament was the chief draw for the room. We're told that cash games ran around the tournament but not on any other days. The room had recently started offering smaller buy-in tournaments on the odd Sunday, but was not operatiing 24/7 and cetainly was not a "casino" as ALE agents were suggesting.

If there was one area where the North Carolina room set itself apart from other rooms, it was the alleged operation of non-poker games. According to one player, the table games were in action before the tournament kicked off or after many people had already busted. We're told a blackjack, craps, a roulette table were available. If there is an aggregious offense in all of this, it's this. While it should be obvious we don't believe gambling should be illegal anywhere, we think poker room operators have a responsbility to protect their players from busts. It's one thing to run a room based soley on playing poker, something that can be legally argued to be a game where players are playing against each other and not against the house. It's another thing entirely (and a lot more sexy for the cops and the media) to have an actual roulette wheel. Really, once an undercover makes it into your room and sees somebody rolling dice on a real craps table, how long do you think it's going to take him to get a warrant? It's one thing to try to convince a judge, "These men are playing cards and it looks illegal" versus, "Your honor, there was some guy who rolled eight straight points and kept screaming about his baby needing new shoes!"

As is the case in just about every place I've visited, the poker scene in North Carolina is as strong as you could possibly want and finding a game is pretty easy if you look. In nearby Rocky Mount, there are at least three rooms in operation and it's possible to play every night of the week (sounds a lot like G-Vegas).

Gracz may have hit on the best point. He told CardPLayer, "We’re out in the middle of nowhere for a reason,” Gracz said. “I just feel as though (the police) could find something better to do with 20 hours of their time."

Therein lies the rub. Obviously, any operating room is turning its nose up at the law. However, it's a law that few people--even most state agents--really don't care much about. Agents have to do their jobs and make the bust, but the end result is a bunch of people getting misdemeanor tickets that are the equivalent of a speeding ticket. Oh, and a lot of headlines.

The end result of these busts is often the same. The charges against the players usually go nowhere. According to CardPlayer, the last time Gracz was busted in North Carolina, the charges ended up getting dropped.

Here in G-Vegas, cases sit in the Pending file for ages. The most recent bust here was two years ago when a dozen or so local players were busted in a small, suburban neighorhood clubhouse tournament. While everyone in that case was cuffed, searched, and removed of most of their posessession, the case has still never been resolved. This is primarily because prosecutors are in a tough spot. South Carolina gambling laws are so antiquated that actually trying this case will likely either result in an unwanted acquittal or a consitutional challenge that would make lawmakers really uncomfortable.

There are a lot of discussions that could be spawned from this raid, but we'll save those for another day. However, I can't let it go without mentioning one point that stuck in my gut. The concept of a fully operational kitchen in the North Carolina case was a bit overblown. While the room did offer crock pot fare and sandwiches, it was not serving four-course meals and cooking food-to-order. If ALE agents want real poker room food, I can take them to at least two places that cater meals for their players (would you believe I actually saw a turkey carved in a room one night?).

Sure, it's not a huge point, but, damn it, there's a difference.

Thanks to R. for the info.

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I'm not friends with Bell or Gracz, but most folks know (even my wife, apparently) that we would not have Michael Gracz in poker if it weren't for Bell. Bell, a N.C. State business graduate, backed Gracz in his early forays into the poker world. Now, it looks like they can share an attorney. Gracz has some experience in this area. He was busted a few years back as well.

The basics of the story seem pretty straight forward: ALE agents bust in and take down a game in Johnston County, arresting 70 people, confiscating all the equipment and around $70,000. With the exception of craps and roulette tables being in the room, it sounds like your average, everyday underground room.

I could spend a lot of time talking about how ridiculous the raid itself is. After all, according to one neighbor in the rural community, "They've never caused any trouble up here that I know of, not in the neighborhood, they haven't," McLamb said. "They kind of kept it low key."

Instead, I think the former TV journalist in me is going to win out and go after the lackluster reporting of reporter Mike Charbonneau and/or his web editor Anne Leake. My favorite passage from the story: "Complainants said the building was used for a number of poker games, such as Texas Hold 'Em, blackjack and roulette"

I once wrote a Cop-Speak-To-Mabel-Speak Theasaurus for new police beat reporters. It might have helped the reporters write the above sentence and provide some alternate words for "complainants." If that doesn't help, I think we should all pitch in and buy them a copy of Super:System to let them know that blackjack and roulette are not poker games.

For more head-shaking fun, visit the WRAL web site. To see if you know anybody caught up in the raid (drop us a note in the comments or an e-mail if you know any more about what happened), check out the list of those arrested and thier charges.

Update: For a better story (one that actually knows that Mike Gracz is the lead), check out the News Observer.

Update 2: More on the North Carolina Poker Bust

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7:41 Otit is here... and I won the first hand with TPTK against Mark. The prop bet taunting is firece.

Plus, I'm thinking of going from martinis to beer

7:47 TheMark and I have added another prop bet... I have the 3c and he has the 5d. We're betting flop, turn, river for increasing stakes

Mark just rebought to replenish his stack. Already.

7:51 PM One prop bet down. Otis just busted theMark on a AhQh6h flop. Otis re-raised all in after theMark led out. TheMark called with a gutty and a Kh. Otis had A pair of Q. Otis wins.

Mark rebuys AGAIN.

7:54 I just flopped a 3c. Mark loses another prop bet. That one continues. I am now moving to red wine in lieu of beer. This will end badly.

7:59 Blood and I are now back to drinking Steins of mid-price petit sirah. Mine is a giant insulated Missouri Tigers mug. Blood is drinking a discovery island mug. He refuses to use the straw and lid.

8:04 Another prop bet. From now on... any time we double someone up, we take shots of tequila. Luckily we're instituting this rule AFTER I just doubled Shep up.

8:16 Looks like a tequila shot a-coming. Otis is in the tank after the turn... Blood is all in. Board is Ac3s7c2s. Otis calls and mucks. Blood wins with JJ. Otis is enjoying tequila.

8:25 A stein is no way to drink wine. Jesus.

8:26 TheMark just won his first hand vs. Otit. It was a small hand. TheMark likes 'em small.

8:29 Rules change to the prop bet. Now Shep will drink tequila any time ANYONE ELSE drinks any tequila. Shep likes tequila.

8:32 TeamScottSmith is here. He's drinking a stein of Pinot out of a PokerStars stein. Shep just doubled theMark. He'll take a shot for that AND a shot because someone (in this case him) took a shot.

8:39 TeamScott just tried to win with the hammer on the turn. I'd like to thank TeamScott for those chips. Still, a good effort.

8:45 Shep just mis-dealt for the 4th consecutive time. Blood had KK that time.

8:48 TheMark just bluffed Blood off a winning hand. Now we're all singing "Your Vagina" to the tune of "Oh my darlin' Clementine"

8:54 I just doubled Shep... again. Over pair on flop vs. over over pair on flop. I drank tequila... so did Shep.

Plus, new rule, next person to misdeal slams a Bud Light.

8:58 Blood drinks tequila after doubling Team Scott. Now he's drooling while yelling, "HOW DO YOU CALL THAT????"

We're laughing at him.

9:02 TeamScottSmith hits on river. I drink tequila.

9:07 On a five minute break... first picture of the night, titled "Taking a picture so it will last longer."

9:12 Buckeye Timmy is here. He doesn't play poker but heard we were drinking and came over. He's now "official photographer."

9:16 Stina just won her first pot. Mark, Blood and I are ALL DRINKING TEQUILA. That is, for the record, the first hand back from the break.

9:17 Stina, excited about last hand, misdeals. She's slamming a Bud Light.

9:26 I'm now blind raising the straddle by 5x. We shall see. 5 callers. The Mark, Otis, Otit, and Blood.

I push on the flop... because I flopped a set. Otis re-pushes.

Otis drinks tequila, WOW.

9:29 Wolverine is here.

9:32 Otit just won his first hand.

9:40 I'm drunk. Blood is drunker.

9:41 Otis and his wife are in some sort of fight over a dog. I hate their dog... it's a goddamn rat. Plus, we have a tequila showdown. Team Scott forces YET ANOTHER tequila shot. He has theMark crushed and theMark tried to get him to run it twice. It's a stupid question but it has Team Scott confused. He still declines and so... Mark drinks tequila. Mark rebuys with a thick wad of sequentially numbered bills. That makes the above picture really resonate don't it?

9:45 Otis has now shifted to tequila for no good goddamn reason.

9:49 3-way all in with Wolverine, TeamScottSmith and Otis.
Plus me and Blood make a side bet with theMark that his hand is good. Wolverine's set is good and Blood and I win. Scott and Otis meanwhile take shots of tequila.

9:51 You know, it's now occured to this live blogger that this has nothing to do with poker. I'm hammered. Blood and I are now into a bottle of Merlot. Each stein o' wine is a 1/2 bottle. For the record, the bottle of tequila is also 1/2 gone. For some reason Mrs. Blood is sitting on theMark's lap.

9:55 For some reason, Otis is now wearing sunglasses. Here's the exchange between Mr. Blood and Mrs. Blood.

Mr.: Kris, wiil you go out to my car and get my sunglasses?

Mrs.: No.

Mr.: Otis has some! (in whiny voice)

Mrs.: So? $10 and I'll get them.

Mr.: Pleeeeeeease? (in VERY whiny voice)

Blood is wearing sunglasses. They're the Bet Hold 'em glasses we picked up at the 2006 WSOP. We call them "Beth Oldem" glasses.

9:59 Now theMark is wearing sunglasses.

Plus, I've just lost a 25 to 1 sidebet with Blood that theMark would ask to raise the stakes by 10pm. He just did so with a minute to spare. FUCK!

10:00 Stina just bluffed Otis off a big hand. She's good at it because Otis lusts after Stina, who it by the way, Mark's wife. Otis rebuys... again.

10:08 TheMark not only just won the hammer prop bet... BUT HE ALSO STACKED OTIS. PLUS HE JUST RAKED MY STACK. And I was outside at the time. Now we're counting chips... paying theMark the prop... and Otis... is drinking tequila.

10:13 I got my chips back. Otis is TILTING like hell. GAME ON.

By the way, now that the "official photog" is here. There are now SOME things that can't be blogged.

10:20 Wolverine is sober. He has a hell of an advantage. Everyone else is in TROUBLE.

10:25 Misdeal for the Wolverine. Things are looking up.

10:29 Otis makes a 7x raise UTG. Blood raises THAT another 5x. I push for about 3x THAT more. Blood calls. Blood drinks TEQUILA.

10:30 Next hand Blood is all in against Stina. Blood now REFUSES to drink more tequila.

11:06 Otit is UTG, and pushes blind. Mark pushes blind. Otis can see his cards due to lack of blindness and calls... Blood also calls with sight. Otit has AJo. Blood has AQo. Mark has KJo and Otis has Q4H. Winner? Otis.

Shots for a lot of people. This low stakes game is now very very very expensive for some.

11:11 Otis jumps the shark. Blood is now refusing to drink and wants to try and kill everyone at the table. The question is... can he take me AND theMark? I say no. Blood says yes. This makes other people laugh.

11:13 Team Scott misdeals.

11:23 Stay tuned for THIS PICTURE. Blood and TeamScott just went outside and fought... errrr wrestled... whatever. Team Scott won.

12:42(SUNDAY AFTERNOON) Somehow parts of this blog were "edited" overnight. Otis claims ignorance. I suspect the blog fairy. C'est la vie, some things will just disappear.

The game broke up at about 12:30 last night. Blood was in some degree of trouble because of the wrestling thing. I'm not sure what happened there. Otis kept disappearing and eventually I found him sitting in the dark on the bathroom floor.

If I can get Otis to do the upload, I think you'll really enjoy the pictures... look for the next post with that.

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I could lose my job if I'm busted in a bust. That doesn't stop me from playing but it stops me from playing quite as much.

That said, I met a state trooper at the gym last week who says he heard I play poker and wanted to know if I wanted to join his weekly game. Um....no.

Meanwhile, last weekend, I drafted my fantasy football team. League membership is $50 with a cost for every transaction. The stakes are small but I think it's still illegal. I'll have to ask my boss. He's in the same league.

I'll have to ask him before next Tuesday. I'm taking that morning off because I plan to stay up late the night before, and probably drink too much, because the Bengals are on Monday Night Football. The local paper says the Bengals are giving 2.5 points to the Ravens. I'd put that information to use (and the fact that the Ravens are 1-4 in their last 5 vs. the Bengals against the spread) if it wasn't illegal to do so.

Speaking of the NFL, ever wonder if anyone would give a shit about the league if it wasn't for gambling and fantasy sports (which is a form of the same)?

So here's your project this morning (or whenever the hell you read this)....please use our comment space to contribute a gambing CONTRADICTION. Something that is so inherently silly that it's, well, inherently silly. Something as silly as me trying to spell inherent.

Please...fire away....

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