We at the Up For Poker blog don't tell bad beat stories. There is actually a clause in our partnership contract that reqires the teller of a bad beat story to play five uninterupted hours of Razz on Full Tilt. If said player doesn't finish up for the session, he has to start over.
Because we don't tell bad beat stories, our group insurance has a variety of plans to help with our therapy. Our wives frown on the local Stress Away Spa Plan (something about them actually not being happy with the happy ending) and the Whack-a-Nun program at the local covent was discontinued after one of the sisters became obsessed with G-Rob's hair and whacking skill.
That's why our internal therapists have created The Tuff Fish Appreciation Society.
Tuff Fish (aka tuff_fish) has been around so long, he's already gone. We've been watching his instructional videos for years and have learned a lot about how to handle ourselves following a bad beat or ugly cooler. I turned to Tuff Fish a little more than a year ago after running 5c6c into TcJc on a 7c8c9c board in a $5/$10 NL game (true story). Tuff Fish (real name Anthony Sandstrom) helped me get through the tough times with one simple phrase. It's a simple manta, ohm, aum, and om that centers us during the tough times. Set over set? Kings vs. aces? Say it with us:
"Fuck me to god damn tears."
It's become the unwritten Up For Poker motto and the raison d'etre for our Tuff Fish Appreciation Society.
RSS readers will have to click through to see the Tuff Fish Video
While Tuff Fish is no secret, we think his therapeutic powers may not be be as appreciated as they should be. For a long while, we three Up For Poker blog writers kept this therapy to ourselves. Now, if we know someone who is having a bad day, our first idea is to give'em some Tuff Fish.
This therapy program comes in three steps.
1. Get bad beat or coolered beyond all recogintion (aka "coo-barred")
2. Watch Tuff Fish videos
3. Profit
Or something like that.
With that in mind, we've been keeping a close eye on the poker blogging terrarium recently and noticed that a lot of the animals inside have turned on each other. Evolution is a bitch, especially when it happens so fast. The result has been a lot of negativity that just isn't doing anybody any good.
So, we now invite each and every one of you to join us in the Tuff Fish Appreciation Society. Membership is free (save the labor of signing up in the comments of this post) and it has its privileges. What might those be, you ask? Well, probably none outside of the free therapy, but it's so worth it.