I have the two best children in the world. Lots of kids are smart. Some, a rare few, are both smart and good-looking. Mine are all that and a bag of chips. Its a miracle of random genetics, like if Chris Kattan fathered a supermodel, but its true. They are God's ( or nature's for you agnostics ) greatest blessing. They make me insane.
Aw Hell! You know where I'm going. Its those times when I'm at home all weekend, when I've played my 32nd game of CHUTES AND LADDERS, when I've explained for the 100th tome that Martin Luther King was not dreaming of "PEAS", that I want to be swingin' single. I'm a celebrity, you know. Chicks dig famous guys.
HANG IN THERE....FRIDAY'S COMING
Right now, the moral of this tale is hanging on the wall just behind the over-teased hair of an overweight secretary. In between XEROX runs and, "Oh my GOD! LATTE!" screams, she glances back at that Hallmark store poster to learn that, "absence makes the heart grow fonder".
Like in those much-ballyhood (a word?) trip reports from Vegas, there is always that unstated constant. I really wanted to see those kids. I was in the middle of everything great : heavy booze, close and new friends, and poker...and THAT makes me love my family. CHRIST I'M A MESS. Call "Modern Parent!"..sappy degenerate on line 1.
POKER SEGUE
Which is where I am with poker. I really need a break. I'd say the past month I've average a good 40 hours a week. I give my job about 10. Granted, the career still pays a lot better, but the adreneline is gone. Likewise, the poker vibe is running dry. That rush of winning is duller right now. I feel like I DESERVE to win, and God (or, again, NATURE) knows I've earned it. Even the bad sessions and the near-misses have stop hurting as much. I've gone poker numb.
A wiser poker mind would probably say this is a very good thing. That I've finally become more rational about my play. But I play for fun, and profit is just a way to keep score. So if it isn't as much fun, its probably time for a break.
So heres the deal. I'm signed up for the WPBT tourney on POKER STARS (have you noticed the writers that site employs..F"N AWESOME!) and I'll definitely be there. But after that..oh and BADBLOOD's home game on Saturday..I'm taking 2 weeks off.
That'll give my time to finish Otis's copy of "Theory of Poker" and reflect on my recently HORRIBLE play. Plus it may re-kindle the joy. I'm sure it will. Hallmark never lies.
And before you go, this from the father-in-law-tells-horrible-jokes-file :
A man in town decides to quit his job and start a new handsome cab ride.
He finds the perfect horse and the most beautiful cart ever made.
But, just like Kosmo Cramer, he has a major problem : the horse farts!
In the middle of every ride...he'll life his tail and let one rip..."HONDA!"
So the man goes to the best vet in town and tells his tale.
Sure enough, the tail goes up...and here it comes.."HONDA!"
The vets smiles and walks right to the horses mouth.
"Just as I thought," he says, "absess tooth!"
"But how could you tell," says the cab driver.
"Well," said the vet, "everyone knows absess makes the fart go HONDA!"
Family....ahhhhhhhhhh...family.