(EDIT : BEFORE THE REST OF THIS POST...YOU MUST READ THIS!)
"Annoying someone via the Internet is now a federal crime.
It's no joke. Last Thursday, President Bush signed into law a prohibition on posting annoying Web messages or sending annoying e-mail messages without disclosing your true identity.
In other words, it's OK to flame someone on a mailing list or in a blog as long as you do it under your real name. Thank Congress for small favors, I guess. "
(NOW ON WITH THE ORIGINAL POST)
Yes folks, there's a secret code in the title. Bring your Orphan Annie decoder ring and "Don't forget to drink your ovaltine."
Blood and I usually reserve Monday for the super delicious "big game" on the hill. This week it was full, so we went to plan B. I got an e-mail from Frank the Tank at work. He's almost always a good host and is a regular at our other donkfest games. His $40NL tourney was a decent fallback.
I gotta tell you folks, I run a good homegame. Blood runs a great one. I've always thought Frank's was good too.
Otis ran a homegame that one time, a long time ago, before he turned soft. It was fun too.
Last night, we played the worst homegame in America.
THE TOURNEY
The game was a fair drive from home, and after Blood left directions on my phone, I had to get clarification from Frank. Actaully, I deleted the voice mail from Blood after getting this far, "Hey Mark's game is full... let's play the other one..." and I deleted the part about it NOT being at Frank's house.
So I called Frank after getting confused.
Back in the cul-de-sac of this rural subdivision, the kind that used to be a farm before a developer's bulldozer helped created 6 dozen identical homes, the cars parked 3 deep along the curb. Frank was waiting outside with a few of the regulars from his game.
Badblood, with excellent timing, pulled in just behind me.
Now, in what turned out to be quite a coincidence, I had recently blazed through some "BadBlood on Poker" achives and read this post. I'd been teasing him about a verbal tell, he'd picked up at a less reputable game. "This," he said, "is that game."
I was NOT pleased.
They had 3 tables set up inside.
One in the living room.
One in the bedroom.
One in the garage.
Buy-in :$55. (Actually $50+$5 a fact not made clear until the money was collected)
With 26 players, that was $130 juice for the house, which was... of course... also PLAYING at my table. The host explained the juice thusly, "We provide pizza (4 $5 Little Ceasars) and we still have to clean up."
Therefore, I'd just paid about $100 for maid service at someone else's house.
Blood and I found seats at different tables. He was in the garage with TeamScottSmith. I went to the car and got my I-Pod once the host cranked up... I kid you not... Mariah Carey on his TV. I like to be social folks, but I can't do Mariah.
Actaully, I'd DO Mariah if I wasn't married. But I don't like her music.
After 2 hours, I went out 13th.
THE CASH GAME
Here's the really stupid thing.
The cash game was on the living room table now that they'd consolidated to the bedroom and garage.
Here's the structure:
$50 MAX buyin
$1/$2 blinds
5-handed (at the time including me, before I realized the game)
A 10% RAKE. A FREAKING RAKE AT A SMALL STAKES HOMEGAME! I DEMAND FREE LIQUOR BROUGHT TO MY CHAIR WITHOUT DELAY IF I'M TO PAY A RAKE!
I played 4 hands, cashed out, and left.
Freaking retarded.
Really, this post is for all of you OUTSIDE of G-Vegas.
We have the best homegames in the world. But we have some that suck.
This one sucks.
I won't be back.