"Car bomb?"
"Sure. Car bomb. It's my birthday, after all."
Car bombs arrive. New girl doesn't like her car bomb.
"You want her car bomb, too?"
"Sure. Car bomb. It's my birthday after all."
I don't take notes when I'm drinking. If I did, that would be about all I would've written down about my birthday celebration Saturday night. The rest of the time I spent trying to climb out of the bottom of various bottles. By the end of the night I was near comatose.
I've never treated my body as much like a temple as I should. Unless, of course, you're one of those people who worships idols like August Busch and Jack Daniels. Then I'd be your temple, bucko.
As I lay staring at the ceiling yesterday, I considered the implications of the hangover. I'm dreadfully out of practice. Since my son was born, I've largely stayed out of bars. I've played a lot of sober poker. Oh, and I've lost about 15 pounds. Not a good combination for a guy who like to party like AlCan'tHang.
It wouldn't be that frightening a prospect, but in just a few days I'll be leaving for five days of sure bedlam.
Still, deep down, I know that my body will rally. There's something about Las Vegas and New Orleans that has always turned off all ill-feeling sensors in my body and allowed me to survive for days on end on little more than booze and buffet food (or, in the case of New Orleans, booze and bignets).
I think a big part of my abilities in those cities is that, unlike a birthday celebration where a day's worth of drinking is crammed into a few hours, Las Vegas trips are a long, steady buzz capped off at 5am with a quick binge to put me to sleep.
Here's Otis Drinking in Vegas 101:
Breakfast--Diet Coke and water. Not together, mind you. I alternate between these two drinks for most of my mornings and early afternoon poker sessions. The water helps to rehydrate, the Diet Cokes provides the demon caffeine.
Lunch--When playing poker in late afternoon, I generally order one beer to put in front of me. I'll nurse it for an hour or so. I don't really think it will make my opponents think I'm the Drunk Guy, but if they want to believe that, fine with me. When in non-poker party mode, I often employ the method I found to be quite effective during a -EV marathon Pai Gow session in the bowels of the Barbary Coast two years ago. I place a dollar chip to the side of my stack and tell the cocktail waitress that on every orbit she makes around the pit, she can trade the dollar chip for a beer. That time, she averaged an orbit about every ten minutes.
Dinner--If I'm having a good session and don't want to leave for dinner, I pull from TiltBoy lore and order a Blood Mary with extra olives. That's dinner.
Midnight snack--It's the drink order that once caused a cocktail waitress to ask, "What are you? 75 years old?" Yes, friends, it's a little embarassing. When I'm full of beer and settled in for a long night of silliness, I order Greyhounds by the gallon. Either Vodka or Gin (depending on my mood) with white grapfruit juice. I'd rather order a Salty Dog (the same drink with a salt-rimmed glass), but most casinos don't permit salt-drinks at their tables for obvious reasons. So, while a little embarassed by drinking an old man's drink, I slurp with pride. Plus, think of the vitamin C!
Or....maybe I'll just go sober this trip...
While I mull that possibility, what are you drinking?