When playing Pai Gow, there's an extra bet on each hand for the "bonus." Play that bonus for at least $5 and you're playing the special "envy" bonus, which means you get paid on everyone else's bonus hand too.
I didn't hit many bonuses at Pai Gow. I didn't hit much of anything at the table games. I did feel a great deal of envy.
Here's what else happened during my 3.5 days in Las Vegas, Nevada.
ENVY
I got up at 3AM EDT here in G-Vegas on Thursday morning. I did 2 hours of TV and a few hours of unusually uninteresting work before leaving for my flight. It is a 2 hour drive to Atlanta. It was a 4.5 hour flight to Las Vegas, landing at 4:15PM PDT.
That's a good long day.
I stopped at the Rio. I met Otis. I met Badblood and Pauly, just back from a trip to the strippers. I met Change100. She's looking good.
By 6PM PDT, Badblood and I were playing poker at the MGM. As always, the players were lousy. Granted, we were playing $1/$2NL, which is always a soft game, but the players at MGM are almost always especially dumb. I won a couple hundred. Blood lost $500.
Blood was having a difficult day.
Otis called and we went back to the Palms. Otis brought my bag which I left with him after the flight. We sat down at Pai Gow.
I got crushed. Blood did too. Otis was injured but not crushed.
In fact, Blood was so badly tilted after several buyins at Pai Gow, he left to play and lose at roulette insead.
He accomplished both goals.
Then he came and lost more money at Pai Gow.
I was getting killed but Blood was getting angry. He was about to get a lot angrier still. We went to the silliest game on the casino floor... Super Texas Holdem Bonus!
Here's another game with a "bonus" round.
Badblood buys in for a few hundred... loses... and gets so angry he's stopped talking to anyone.
I've developed a great deal of concern for my friend at this point.
He buys in again... and loses again. Now I'm worried.
He buys in again... and now... I'm not worried... I'm flat out jealous.
Within 2 hours of his last $300 buyin, Badblood has a stack of $4000. He's playing any two cards blind for $200 each. He wins every time.
Our dealer, a Romanian woman, is so amazed she refuses to leave when her shift is over... brushing her replacement away.
Badblood stands, pounds the table, yells, "I'm pushing the button! I can NOT lose! I drink your milkshake!"
And he wins again.
Badblood gets moodier and angrier as he wins.
"Everyone is against me!," he screams, "and I will drink EVERYONE'S milkshake!"
He can not be stopped.
Once he cashes out, up at least $2500 for the -EV night, Otis and I decide to stop playing and losing by playing the to the best of our ability. Now we're playing blind $200 hands as well.
And we start winning too.
Before long Otis and I have recouped our losses.
It's now 6AMPDT. I haven't eaten or slept since getting up for work 30 hours earlier. There is only one thing to do. $2/$5NL poker at the Palms.
That was a big mistake for me. It was a continued heater for Blood and Otis.
Blood wins another $1K. Otis wins big too, bluffing me off a big hand. I'm not not only envious of my closest friends in the world. I actually hate them a little.
I cashed out and went to bed at 8AM PDT. They kept playing. The donkeys at the NL game are just handing out money. Handing it to everyone but me.
When I flopped 2 pair with A3o, I bet $300 into a $250 pot. The foreign guy with an untraceable accent called. On the turn the board read, A349. I pushed an he called. He shows 25o. I am stacked.
My money and the rest of his would be divided among my friends.
C'est la vegas.